From the hare, Crack Of: We did a backwards hash back to A. Only the marks from before the rain washed away...lol. On after at my house with margaritas chicken and macaroni n cheese. 6 of us. Boob check at the mammogram clinic... beer search with clues... yah...dumb. I know, but it was fun watching them look...And there was only one beer to find... forgot to take the other bag... everybody shared it... yumm...  Wow, what a crowd! Apparently the hashers in Key West were excited for a bike hash, because 19 of them gathered at the Hash House for the start. GM Emeritus DTF blessed the hares: XSNRG and Just Rachel (Aunteater got recruited as a hare since he was on a tandem bicycle with Just Rachel!) and sent them on their way, while the pack enjoyed some refreshing prelube beverages, checked their tire pressure, and made sure they had plenty of lights on. As the hares left, there was a short delay as Just Rachel departed on the tandem bicycle without Aunteater. Just Makenzie looked smashing in her light-up leg lacing, while just Adrienne sported a jaunty tutu, and HNIC had a color-changing disco light. After a 15 minute wait, the pack was On On south on Dennis Street, then west toward White Street. A few checks and YBFs kept the pack pretty close together, as they pedaled along side streets toward City Hall. A check there got the pack a bit spread out, but thanks to some whistles and shouts of “On On,” they all soon found their way to the beer stop off United and Royal. While enjoying some frosty beverages, the pack was amused as the first photos began rolling in of 4” Spike with his new hair. Many references were made to the Fresh Prince of Belair, while DTF quickly photoshopped a photo of 4” into an album cover from Bel Biv DeVoe. Sufficiently hydrated and amused, the pack rolled on east, crossing White Street and down Virginia Street to another beer shop at the Jose Marti statue in Bayview Park. Mu-sick rolled in behind the pack, slowed down by a flat on one of his three tires, probably caused by a light he had screwed into his valve stem. Luckily, Thar She Blows had a frame pump, and there was no hole in the tire, so it was soon reinflated.  After a few photos, some hash songs, and some more beverages, the pack was again On On, east on Roosevelt and through midtown to a third beer stop in front of Conchcebitionist’s house. A few more frosty beers later, the pack was on again, winding through the high school parking lot, where a dick check awaited. Thanks, Just Tim, for obliging – and isn’t exposing yourself on school property a felony??  On in the pack rolled to the hash house, where yet more cold beverages awaited. Circle was commenced, with DTF acting as RA. The hares drank for a shitty trail (which everyone agreed was really great), the FRBs and DFLs were called in, and a few returners were allowed to chug their beers. Virgin DD was invited to entertain us with a joke (you’re not funny), a song (you can’t sing) or a body part, which she was proud to display. She’s a hasher through and through!! Upcoming hashes and Fantasy Fest schedule were announced, circle was wrapped up, and on after was called for Shanna Key. What a great time – maybe we should do this more often!!  Hare: Timber Balls Well, this was one for the record books! The Key West Hash Olympic record books, that is. Timber Balls was the hare and the single-handed Hash Olympic Committee for the evening, and he had a full slate of fun and games lined up for the pack. The fun started with the first event of the evening, the Cuban Bread Shot Put. The goal was to throw a piece of Cuban bread (or the whole loaf, which some tried) into a ring about 20 feet away. Whoever got the closest won the gold medal.  Each hasher took his or her turn, and when all was said and done, Just Makenzie took the gold with the most accurate throw, followed by 4” Spike for the silver and Cindy Bear for the bronze.  Timber Balls had created some fabulous medals from different colored beer can tops, strung from Mardi Gras beads. He presented each medalist their award in true Olympic fashion as the pack hummed the Olympic anthem and 4” Spike played it on his phone.. Shitter’s Full then blessed the hare and sent him on his way for the first part of the trail. The hare took of with a shot asking for only a 5 minute head start. The pack soon followed, winding through The Meadows neighborhood north of Bayview Park. Mu-Sick, Manogram, and HNIC led the way, and the walking pack of Cindy Bear, Shitter’s Full, Just Makenzie, Thar She Blows, and 4” Spike brought up the rear. Trail passed over the Garrison Bight bridge, from where the pack was elated to see that the Smiley Face houseboat was back in its rightful place.  4” Spike decided that we needed to go knock on the door and tell them how happy it made everyone to see it back. He and Thar headed down the dock to discover all the houseboat owners out on the dock enjoying sundowners. They sought out the owners of the Smiley Face house, who introduced themselves as Paul and Carrie. They were lovely people, and told us a little about the houseboat and how they ended up living there. They were genuinely touched that someone had actually stopped by to tell them they were glad to see the houseboat back. The walkers then regrouped and followed trail back to Bayview Park, where they found the runners hydrating in preparation for another grueling round of Hash Olympics. The second event was the Frond Fling.  .  Timber Balls brought out a rather large palm frond; the object was simply to see who could throw it the farthest. Any method was acceptable – throwing it like a spear, chucking it underhand, or trying to throw it from the end like a Scottish caber. None of the techniques proved very effective, though, as the thing was damned heavy!! In the end, HNIC flung the farthest to take the gold, followed by Manogram and Just Makenzie  The hare was then sent on his way for part two of the trail, which meandered through the neighborhoods south of Bayview. There were many interesting homes along the way, including one on Seminary Street that takes up an entire city block and is hidden away behind a jungle of landscaping. There were also some interesting vehicles.  . The pack wandered along the back side of HOB school, then on in to Bayview Park for the final Olympic event, the Long Spew  This involved taking a big swig of your beverage of choice, taking a little run-up to a chalk line, and spewing as far as possible. Thar She Blows lived up to her name and took home the gold in this event, followed by Mu-Sick for the silver and Shitter’s Full for the bronze.  Timber Balls offered up a third section of trail, but since it was already getting dark the pack voted to end trail and circle up for religion. The hare drank for his shitty trail, and again for wearing his hat in circle. FRBs and DFLs were awarded down-downs, visitor Phony the Tiger had a tequila down down from his own bottle, and latecummers DTF, XSNRG, and Treasure Twat were called in to circle for their tardiness. Swing Low was swung, and the pack adjourned to Don’s Place for on-after.  Many thanks to Timber Balls for a very enjoyable evening. The trail was great, the games were fun and inventive, and the medals will be cherished forever! Thanks also to Cindy Bear for providing lots of these amazing photos!  Hare: Shiggy Shave Her Pack: Shitter’s Full, Cindy Bear, Mu-Sick, Thar She Blows, Manogram (with Blue, the Australian Shepherd) Brief appearance by Taste the Rainblow, a new Key West hasher from San Diego H3 The small but enthusiastic pack gathered behind Winn Dixie by the Salt Run channel for Shiggy’s return appearance as a hare. We were pleased to welcome a new hasher to the KWH3, Taste The Rainblow from San Diego. He was unable to stay for trail, but we will surely see him on future trails. Our GM, Shitter’s Full, filled in as RA and blessed the hare and sent him on his way. Trail led through the gap in the hedge and toward the salt pond along 10th Street. As we were searching for marks, an elderly man sitting on his porch called to us and asked to show us something. Curious, we approached and he showed us a large envelope. In it was a copy of a city resolution recently passed by the Key West City Commission, naming the salt pond along 10th and Fogarty “Lake McKillip” after him. His name is John McKillip, and he is a third-generation Conch and has lived in Key West his entire life, most of it by that salt pond. The resolution and a letter from his son about Mr McKillip’s life is attached here. I encourage you to take a moment and read them for a unique peek into some Key West history.  After the chat with Mr McKillip, the pack again headed out searching for trail, finally following it across the pedestrian bridge over Salt Run channel. Through the midtown neighborhoods it wound, finally reaching a beer stop at Conchcebitionist’s place on Seidenberg. Thirst quenched, the pack then took off again, following the sound of Mu-Sick’s whistle as he and Manogram and Just Blue were FRBs.  Hare: Thar She Blows
Pack: Shitter’s Full, Aunteater, Just Rachel, Timberballs, Cindy Bear, Just Veronica, Mu-Sick, XSNRG, Crack Of, Just Courtney, Just Shawn, Schoolhouse Cocks The pack gathered at the Boathouse Bar at Coconut Mallory for a few prelube beers on this lovely full moon evening. The hare presented the chalk talk, which included a special briefing on a “U-Turn check,” at which the pack was supposed to create a “U” and take a photo, then make a U-Turn on trail. The hare promised it would be obvious when the pack saw it. More on this later…. After a 10 minute head start, the pack was away, down Casa Roma lane and then north past the VA clinic. After carefully crossing the triangle, the pack found a check, and soon found the trail that led into the Hyatt parking lot and along the trail beside Cow Key channel. Timberballs was the first to round the corner and encounter the BN, followed closely by Mu-Sick, but they lost trail in the sandy beach area. A quick shoutout of “beer check” by the hare (who was waiting at the beer check) led them to the fabulous tiki bar on the beach behind the Hyatt. Who knew this bar was there????? The hare shared a drink with the pack, then was off again, into the parking garage of the Marriott Beachside. A check there really slowed the pack, as there were about eight possible directions to go! Trail led through one of the garages, into the pool area, back into another garage, and out onto North Roosevelt. The pack got a bit spread out, but found the scent again in the grassy lawn by 24 North. Out the back gate they went, solved a few checks, and soon found another beer check at Article 69 and Just Kara’s house. Even though only the dogs were home, the pack let themselves into the back yard pool area and began to drink. After a couple of minutes, Article 69 and a very pregnant Kara returned home to find the hashers in their backyard. Article 69 joined the merriment and Just Kara showed us all how pregnant she was. This beer check proved to be a great delay tactic by the hare, who now had plenty of time to lay the last section of trail. Trail headed south to a check which spread the pack out again, then into the public housing complex, past the senior center, and on south to Flagler. The pack wound back and forth between Flagler and Eagle, finally crossing South Roosevelt and finishing back at CocoMal. A fun Circle was held on the docks to avoid annoying bar patrons and condo guests (I just re-read that sentence, and realized it could mean that we were trying not to annoy them OR that we were trying to avoid them because they were annoying – take your pick). Thankfully the no-see-ums seemed not to notice us. The hare was made to drink for a predictably shitty trail. Visitors were awarded welcome down-downs, and virgin Shawn entertained us with his aft body part. Schoolhouse joined us for circle, but had not done trail due to continuing back problems, so of course she had to drink. Our RA, XSNRG, opened the floor for accusations and tales from trail. The hare was called into the circle again to drink because nobody found the “U-turn” mark. Oh well, we’ll save that for another trail… A few more down-downs and a Swing Low later, the circle was adjourned and the group moved to Higgs Beach for the full moon party. Thar passed out mylar space blankets for the theme of the full Moon Party, the “Bright and Shiny” full moon. They were really hot to wear, so not many chose to put them on, but Mu-Sick got lots of complients on his bright and shiny cape. Theme: Orange is the New Black Hares: Three Hour Whore and guest hare Missed Her Bullseye Hashers came out of the woodwork for this one, as we gathered to say farewell (for now) to Three Hour Whore, who is moving to Pensacola. Shitter’s Full, Crack Of, Aunteater, Just Rachel, Thar She Blows, Mu-Sick, Just Tim and canine Hannah, and Just Chris were there, as well as visitors Black and Decker Pecker Wrecker and Virgin Jeff. And returning for the first time in over a year, Shiggy Shave Her. After a few prelube beverages, the hares took off, leaving us to try to decipher the chalk talk (OK, the leapfrog check was really the only thing that stumped us, and only briefly). The trail set off down Government Road toward the airport, only to veer off at the first dirt road, which meant only one thing – yes, into the Salt Ponds the trail went, marked by flags of toilet paper. Everyone plunged on in, except Just Tim, who was (rightly) concerned for his canine companion. After a slippery start, the trail soon became just a slog through the waist-high, piss-warm water and shoe-sucking mud. On and on and on we went, scaring up horseshoe crabs, jellyfish, and blue crabs, and the skeleton of some long-dead animal. Well, she did tell us to wear shiggy socks! And so Just Chris bought a new pair of KWH3 shiggy socks not 5 minutes before trudging into the muddy salt pond.  On and on and on we slogged, gathering rocks and shells and muck in our shoes and trying to keep them on, until we finally climbed out on to dry land at the baseball field behind the high school. No wonder we kept finding balls in the water – who’s gonna retrieve those foul balls? There was a very convenient water hose behind home plate, which many used to wash the rocks out of their shoes. Trail continued along the fence beside the roller rink to a check on Bertha. Mu-Sick, who had lost trail behind the high school, ran all the way back to the start, but found no trail and no hashers. Our visitors and Shiggy, who were FRBs, found one mark on Bertha going toward the ocean. They continued searching for trail, and eventually stumbled upon the first beer check by the seawall, albeit from the wrong direction. The visitors grabbed a beverage and followed the on-out arrow. Shiggy ran back to the check, where he met up with Thar, Crack Of, and Shitter’s Full. We eventually found trail heading down the boardwalk off Atlantic, and followed it to arrive at the beer check from the correct direction. We also eventually rounded up Mu-Sick, who met us at the beer check. On out pointed toward the airport along Smathers Beach, which meant only one of two things (neither good); either we were going back into the salt ponds, or we were gonna have to run a loooong way to get back to the start (we knew it was A to A). Sure enough, back into the salt pond we slogged, and this one was even muckier and warmer than the first one. Finally, just as the sun was setting, we climbed on to dry land where Shitter’s Full was waiting for the exhausted DFLs to catch up. The FRBs went straight through Little Hamaca park to the On Home. Meanwhile Mu-Sick and Aunteater decided to climb the hill next to the Cubana Airlines plane, because Missed Her Bullseye had left a beer check there last time he had hared a trail through there. Finding no beer, they both slid/ran/climbed down the steep embankment only to have Just Rachel say, “Isn’t that a cooler at the top of the hill?” Mu-Sick recognized his pink and white cooler, and so the three of them climbed up the hill and found the cold beer. As Thar She Blows, Crack Of, and Shitter’s Full caught up and climbed up the hill, the hares walked back to the beer stop. As Mu-Sick cracked open his second beer there, we noticed a police car drive by on the other side of the fence, you know the fence meant to keep people from entering the end of the runway, where we were! So, here we sat up the hill at the coolest beer stop ever, atop the hill by the old Cuban airliner that sits at the end of the runway, watching planes take off and land overhead. After a nice long rest, when Mu-Sick popped his 3rd beer at the beer stop, we climbed down, went along the fence until we found a hole in the fence to arrive back at the start. Circle soon commenced inside the gates to the park (the neighbors don’t like us circling in the parking lot, because we curse a lot and sing bawdy songs). Lo and behold, what to our wondering eyes should appear but the Sacred Vessel and the Long Lost Book of Names!!!!! Turns out that our former GM, Shiggy Shave Her, had been “guarding” them ever since March, when he found them abandoned after XSNRG’s birthday party. Glad he finally decided to show up!!! Both were immediately entrusted to the care of our current GM, who has promised to guard them more carefully. The Sacred Vessel was put to good use on this muggy evening, as we awarded down-downs to the hares, the visitors, the virgin, to Just Rachel for wearing a skirt and carrying a purse on a shiggy trail (as she demonstrated how to hike up her miniskirt), FRB and DFL, Missed Her Bullseye for being awarded his lost ball found on trail by Mu-Sick (it was really a gold ball), and Shiggy for safely returning the sacred vessel and finally showing up for a trail. Then it was time for a naming!!! Just Chris has been to many hashes, and hared at least once, so it was finally time for a name. Shiggy went on a quick ice run, and came back with three bags upon which Just Chris was compelled to be seated (with one in his lap for good measure). After answering the usual questions, he was left to enjoy his cool perch while the pack retired to toss around ideas. The early favorite was Cum Solo, since he came to his first hash alone, and is a big Star Wars fan. Some effort was made to incorporate the word “Burple” which I guess from someone asking him how black he was and he replied “Burple” (somebody correct me if I’m wrong here). Another suggestion referred to the fact that he has five different jobs, thus “Five Incomes No Kids, or FINK.” Votes were cast, and in the end, Cum Solo won out. Newly named hasher Cum Solo was compelled to drink from the Sacred Vessel, and was finally released from his icy throne, only to proclaim “I have ice in my asshole!” Circle was closed with Swing Low, and hashers dispersed to shower (YEAH!!) and most to the Green Parrot to meet up with DTF, who had to miss this shiggy trail for a bachelorette party (YUCK!). Mu-Sick announced that he and Just Grant are haring the next hash next Saturday (23 Jun) and that everyone can expect to do something that no Key West Hash has ever done before!! The following Friday, the 29th of June will have Thar She Blows as the hare followed by the Full Moon Party at Higgs Beach. Shiggy Shaver volunteered to hare the Saturday, 7 July Hash.  How cold is it?????
Hare was Article 69, and trail left from his house. I'm not really sure where it went, but somewhere they found a bridge to drink under, a mattress to lie on, and a pool to swim in. Pack looks like it was Shitter's Full, Cindy Bear, Just Kara, and Just Liz. Thanks, Cindy Bear, for the great photos!     |
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