Hash Trash - Tarpon Belly Campout Hash

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Key West Campout Hash Trash. 
A few hashers came early on Thursday with their boats to help negotiate our space on the island since the firefighters from yesteryear were back. On Thursday it was  Mini, Anteater, manhoe, DTF,  Manogram, Shakesqueer, Oh Fuck I Forgot, Virgin Scott, and partner. Manogram's boat was transformed into a scene from Beverly Hillbillies and/or Sanford and Son, while bringing supplies, like an entire kitchen and their circus-sized pop-up tent to the island. DTF and Manogram spread out everybody's gear all over the main Beach Highlands to stake out our side of the canal. Some Stray Muggles from Kentucky, Miami, Massachusetts, and Melbourne join the group on our side of the island. from the other side of the canal joined us for the hash Trail on Saturday, falling out and not finishing after the second deep water, cold water swim back across the canal. MuSick and _____ almost caught hare Sat. Shitter's Full has to give to keepfrom betting caught. Trail trouble distinguishing between. Used toilet paper & trail marks.  We did get five of The Virgins into Circle; they joined us from the firefighters' camp and others staying on the island. We had two hashers from Daytona Beach who Shakesqueer brought down with him on Thursday. Shakesqueer ttraileed his boat down from Daytona Beach 269 miles, of which 268 were issue free. During the last mile his trailer became untethered while he was crossing the last bridge. Luckily Musick had a set of sockets to tighten up the trailer hitch so that he could back the boat and trailer into the water without losing his boat and trailer. Manhoe, Just Scott, Shakesqueer, oh Fuck, I forgot, and Just ____  all came over on Thursday also and stayed overnight. Friday saw the onslaught of most of the hashers. A filling hot Lunch of hamburgers, beans, and pork bellies, was served at Camp Bacon. Naked bacon cooking was done by Mini Buffstead wearing nothing but a hat. Oh, Fuck I Forgot did the bottomless bacon cooking.There was a Fun campfire Friday night after dinner with fireworks courtesy of Mini Buffsted. The beer was flowing every flavor except Budweiser Select 55 that 4-inch Spike forgot to get for HNIC. So one of the organizers did not get his favorite Brew. Since Tiny Testes was coming Saturday on his boat; we texted him and asked him to bring some Bud Select 55 with him. He ended up looking all over Cudjoe and Big Pine Key to no avail and ended up showing up too late for trail on Saturday and then left on Sunday. So Tiny Testes basically came for the storm Sunday morning. Shitters Full was the hare on Saturday and he laid a very Shiggy Trail with mud, water Crossings, marked with flour and toilet tissue, although several of the toilet tissue "marks" had a pile of shit next to them, which couldn't all have been left by Shitters Full. Sitting around the campfire Friday night it's a wonder that they were no explosions since a hasher and a harriette proceeded to hit us with a gas attack that cleared out one side of the campfire, luckily, the downwind side. Aunteater sailed out on his boat on her maiden voyage on a delightful Sail Out to the island bringing hashers and their gear under Sail Without The deafening sound of high Revolution Motors only to take several hashers out on a 3 hour tour Saturday afternoon and sheer the PIN on his outboard auxiliary power for a third time. Approximately 20 virgins joined us for the trail, but most 
didn't join us for the on home.  When Bare'er Cuda, Amber Alert and Musick came over on Aunteater's sailboat on Friday, they didn't realize that they have the same size, make and style tent. After Musick had Bare'er Cuda's tent half up, Barracuda and Amber Alert came over to say, "Hey, there's our tent." So they ended up staying in each other's tent for the weekend. Interestingly enough those two tents were two of the tents that fully capsized during the storm of biblical proportions. Now this is not always a bad thing since the bottom of the tent is absolutely waterproof and so the wind and the rain from the squall failed to enter the tent. It turns out that Barracuda and Amber Alert used the same technique as Musick to combat the 35 knot Squall winds that came through with a 90-degree wind shift at 7 in the morning, in that they proceeded to the Upwind corner of the tent and proceeded to Anchor it down with their own body weight, fearing to try and get out of the tent would cause the tent to completely blow away. The midnight clothing optional run Saturday night included a tour of everyone's campsite and tent vocalized by the hares often times followed by cries of watch out for the Rope, by Cindy Bear since she had secured her tent with large and long lengths of parachute cord from the three thousand foot spool of parachute cord that she had appropriated for the weekend. They were hamburgers Friday night although they ran out; there were still plenty of beans baked beans with pork bellies. It was plenty of bacon to last two weekends with twice as many people. So there was bacon at every meal, between meal snacks and whenever anybody had a few free moments including late night snacks early morning snacks and Well Done pieces of bacon for Bloody Mary's every morning. Manogram's tent was a large pop-up type which luckily only blew against the trees and didn't blow away into the canal, for their tent without a doubt had the most windage of any of the other tents. So their choice of campsites was critical. Early in the morning they lowered the pop-up to reduce the windage, but they could no longer stand up inside their tent. Mini Buffsted obviously had the local waters memorized for she was able to scoot in and out of the island and in and out of the canal with ease when her engine ran. Unfortunately she had a few issues getting the engine started, probably due to dirty fuel. Dirty and sexual innuendos continued through the entire weekend, but I like your buns the way they are. HNIC was celebrated as Chef extraordinaire by doing so much of the cooking. Several others joined in to help. Crack-Of started that she had not given Aunteater a bj in over 2 years. The kitchen was a delightful arrangement with four tables, a double burner gas stove, and a gas grill with more cooking utensils pots and pans that we could possibly use all weekend. Bloody Marys and Mimosas where available for everyone in the morning as well as a never-ending supply of beer. Although the official end of the weekend was just after breakfast Sunday morning several hashers stayed Sunday night to celebrate.  Treasure Twat decided to leave Sunday with the others rather than stay Sunday night as she originally had planned since everything she brought with her was soaking wet probably and from the rain and not from sex in the squall. Crack Of wandered into the wrong camp looking for dinner Friday night, picked up a dog turd and left. Manhoe took the first amazing sunset photo on Thursday through his Caribbean Rum Bottle. Photos Sat night included a sexy Just Roma at sunset. Early Sunday morning after having enough of Hasher Shnanigans, the wrath of mighty Odin was released upon Tarpon Belly Key, the inhabitants and their equipment. After a few hours of heavy shifty winds, Mighty Oden proceeded to unleash his wrath on the tents off Tarpon Belly Key by blowing at a fierce 35 knots from the northwest and sneezing a powerful rain down in biblical proportions, he toppled Mu-Sick's and Baracuda's tents, by removing all the stakes and turning the tents on their side, allowing them to be anchored down by only the weight of their occupants. Mu-Sick's decision to remain as an air mattress sandwich still inside his sleeping bag proved to be a good choice for he remained dry, until rescued by 4 harriettes. Climbing to the windward corner was a tactic to no avail, for even Mu-Sick's massive frame was easilysuspended in the air against the gale of Oden's wrath. Exiting the tent would have only released the only earthly tether and sent the tent to Cuba. While several hashers rode out the storm in their inverted tent, DTF and Manogram proceeded to lower the pop-up tent before the tent committed hari-kari upon the trees just downwind of its campsite. Unable to get the bottom of the tent back down on terra firms, Bare'er Cuda selflessly anchored the side of her tent down with her scantily-clad body while the tent flashed its bottom at the fierce storm in defiance. Upon seeing this, Almighty Oden then possessed Kitchen Aid, forcing her into hysterical fits of giggling and laughing uncontrollably in various tongues.
Although Treasure Twat's tent stayed secure, Oden poured 100 gallons of rain on and into every orifice of her tent and body until the sum total of everything she brought was wet. Luckily all the boats had been properly secured the night before, except for Aunteater's Dyer Dinghy, which was repeatedly put through the wash, rinse, and spin cycle of the maelstrom. Tiny Testes has just arrived Saturday night too late for the hash run 🏃 and left Sunday. So he basically came just for the storm. Camp Bacon was the first to surrender to this mighty fury. Undaunted by what may lay in store outside the 3' seas immediately surrounding our tiny island, Shakesqueer was the first to depart Sunday morning after the storm during a lull in the rain and squall activities. Shakesqueer packed up his boat with water, rain soaked gear, and hashers to bravely proceed out into the unknown sea during the first lull in the storm.  Mu-Sick, stuckin his upside-down tent, was unable to exit his tent for a couple of reasons: 1. The entrance/exit was on top, and 2. If he moved, the tent would blow away and roll over Crack Of's tent. Mu-Sick got rescued by 4 harriettes: Treasure Twat, Crack Of, Cindy Bear, and Mini, who all staked down his tent and added hurricane-proof tent stakes, which were provided by Marilyn Manhoe.
The wind and rain was no match for the mighty Fire Girl's campfire, for immediately after the storm, while Tarpon Belly looked like a jig-saw puzzle with several pieces gone, she added more firewood to the fire in protest to the mighty god's wrath and brought the bonfire back.
Hashers who got stuck on board without an operational engine, were anxious know how long Aunteater had been sailing on his sail boat. In circle he admitted that his maiden voyage was to the island on Friday! When Aunteater sailed close to our island destination, and had no auxiliary power, to motor into the canal, Menstral Casserole faceplanted off the sailboat after running aground. 
Although most of the pack of hashers left Sunday, for of us stayed to witness the Wolf Blood Midnight full moon eclipse.  We
ate dinner with muggles from the Coral Gables & New England crew, who were celebrating the life of their lost friend and family member. They had caught a nurse shark, a Baracuda, and another fish, which they only described as having a triangular head. Mini Buffsted and aunteater feel asleep before the full-moon eclipse, which turned out to be at fleeing instances at 2347 & 0021 in an otherwise overcast sky.
It was extremely Low tide Monday morning, when we got up. The Monday morning wind had pucker up again. The breakfast
Monday included a special "Crack Of" coffee which included a healthy shot of Baileys. Aunteater & Mini had tea and Bagels.
Upon Monday morning inspection, we noted that the Firefighters had left 2 barrels of trash
Mini & Aunteater performed the trash removal Monday for the hash camp and coordinated with the Coral Gables and New England muggles for the removal of the firefighter's trash that they couldn't fit in their boats. The sailback was very enjoyable and scenic, with only a few breathtaking moments we thought we were going to run aground amid the miles of narrow channels back to Mini's new house on the canal.

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