Theme: Orange is the New Black
Hares: Three Hour Whore and guest hare Missed Her Bullseye
Hashers came out of the woodwork for this one, as we gathered to say farewell (for now) to Three Hour Whore, who is moving to Pensacola. Shitter’s Full, Crack Of, Aunteater, Just Rachel, Thar She Blows, Mu-Sick, Just Tim and canine Hannah, and Just Chris were there, as well as visitors Black and Decker Pecker Wrecker and Virgin Jeff. And returning for the first time in over a year, Shiggy Shave Her.
After a few prelube beverages, the hares took off, leaving us to try to decipher the chalk talk (OK, the leapfrog check was really the only thing that stumped us, and only briefly). The trail set off down Government Road toward the airport, only to veer off at the first dirt road, which meant only one thing – yes, into the Salt Ponds the trail went, marked by flags of toilet paper. Everyone plunged on in, except Just Tim, who was (rightly) concerned for his canine companion. After a slippery start, the trail soon became just a slog through the waist-high, piss-warm water and shoe-sucking mud. On and on and on we went, scaring up horseshoe crabs, jellyfish, and blue crabs, and the skeleton of some long-dead animal.
Well, she did tell us to wear shiggy socks! And so Just Chris bought a new pair of KWH3 shiggy socks not 5 minutes before trudging into the muddy salt pond.
On and on and on we slogged, gathering rocks and shells and muck in our shoes and trying to keep them on, until we finally climbed out on to dry land at the baseball field behind the high school. No wonder we kept finding balls in the water – who’s gonna retrieve those foul balls? There was a very convenient water hose behind home plate, which many used to wash the rocks out of their shoes.
Trail continued along the fence beside the roller rink to a check on Bertha. Mu-Sick, who had lost trail behind the high school, ran all the way back to the start, but found no trail and no hashers. Our visitors and Shiggy, who were FRBs, found one mark on Bertha going toward the ocean. They continued searching for trail, and eventually stumbled upon the first beer check by the seawall, albeit from the wrong direction. The visitors grabbed a beverage and followed the on-out arrow. Shiggy ran back to the check, where he met up with Thar, Crack Of, and Shitter’s Full. We eventually found trail heading down the boardwalk off Atlantic, and followed it to arrive at the beer check from the correct direction. We also eventually rounded up Mu-Sick, who met us at the beer check.
On out pointed toward the airport along Smathers Beach, which meant only one of two things (neither good); either we were going back into the salt ponds, or we were gonna have to run a loooong way to get back to the start (we knew it was A to A). Sure enough, back into the salt pond we slogged, and this one was even muckier and warmer than the first one. Finally, just as the sun was setting, we climbed on to dry land where Shitter’s Full was waiting for the exhausted DFLs to catch up. The FRBs went straight through Little Hamaca park to the On Home. Meanwhile Mu-Sick and Aunteater decided to climb the hill next to the Cubana Airlines plane, because Missed Her Bullseye had left a beer check there last time he had hared a trail through there. Finding no beer, they both slid/ran/climbed down the steep embankment only to have Just Rachel say, “Isn’t that a cooler at the top of the hill?” Mu-Sick recognized his pink and white cooler, and so the three of them climbed up the hill and found the cold beer. As Thar She Blows, Crack Of, and Shitter’s Full caught up and climbed up the hill, the hares walked back to the beer stop. As Mu-Sick cracked open his second beer there, we noticed a police car drive by on the other side of the fence, you know the fence meant to keep people from entering the end of the runway, where we were! So, here we sat up the hill at the coolest beer stop ever, atop the hill by the old Cuban airliner that sits at the end of the runway, watching planes take off and land overhead. After a nice long rest, when Mu-Sick popped his 3rd beer at the beer stop, we climbed down, went along the fence until we found a hole in the fence to arrive back at the start.
Circle soon commenced inside the gates to the park (the neighbors don’t like us circling in the parking lot, because we curse a lot and sing bawdy songs). Lo and behold, what to our wondering eyes should appear but the Sacred Vessel and the Long Lost Book of Names!!!!! Turns out that our former GM, Shiggy Shave Her, had been “guarding” them ever since March, when he found them abandoned after XSNRG’s birthday party. Glad he finally decided to show up!!! Both were immediately entrusted to the care of our current GM, who has promised to guard them more carefully.
The Sacred Vessel was put to good use on this muggy evening, as we awarded down-downs to the hares, the visitors, the virgin, to Just Rachel for wearing a skirt and carrying a purse on a shiggy trail (as she demonstrated how to hike up her miniskirt), FRB and DFL, Missed Her Bullseye for being awarded his lost ball found on trail by Mu-Sick (it was really a gold ball), and Shiggy for safely returning the sacred vessel and finally showing up for a trail. Then it was time for a naming!!! Just Chris has been to many hashes, and hared at least once, so it was finally time for a name. Shiggy went on a quick ice run, and came back with three bags upon which Just Chris was compelled to be seated (with one in his lap for good measure). After answering the usual questions, he was left to enjoy his cool perch while the pack retired to toss around ideas. The early favorite was Cum Solo, since he came to his first hash alone, and is a big Star Wars fan. Some effort was made to incorporate the word “Burple” which I guess from someone asking him how black he was and he replied “Burple” (somebody correct me if I’m wrong here). Another suggestion referred to the fact that he has five different jobs, thus “Five Incomes No Kids, or FINK.” Votes were cast, and in the end, Cum Solo won out. Newly named hasher Cum Solo was compelled to drink from the Sacred Vessel, and was finally released from his icy throne, only to proclaim “I have ice in my asshole!”
Circle was closed with Swing Low, and hashers dispersed to shower (YEAH!!) and most to the Green Parrot to meet up with DTF, who had to miss this shiggy trail for a bachelorette party (YUCK!).
Mu-Sick announced that he and Just Grant are haring the next hash next Saturday (23 Jun) and that everyone can expect to do something that no Key West Hash has ever done before!! The following Friday, the 29th of June will have Thar She Blows as the hare followed by the Full Moon Party at Higgs Beach.
Shiggy Shaver volunteered to hare the Saturday, 7 July Hash.
Trail continued along the fence beside the roller rink to a check on Bertha. Mu-Sick, who had lost trail behind the high school, ran all the way back to the start, but found no trail and no hashers. Our visitors and Shiggy, who were FRBs, found one mark on Bertha going toward the ocean. They continued searching for trail, and eventually stumbled upon the first beer check by the seawall, albeit from the wrong direction. The visitors grabbed a beverage and followed the on-out arrow. Shiggy ran back to the check, where he met up with Thar, Crack Of, and Shitter’s Full. We eventually found trail heading down the boardwalk off Atlantic, and followed it to arrive at the beer check from the correct direction. We also eventually rounded up Mu-Sick, who met us at the beer check.
On out pointed toward the airport along Smathers Beach, which meant only one of two things (neither good); either we were going back into the salt ponds, or we were gonna have to run a loooong way to get back to the start (we knew it was A to A). Sure enough, back into the salt pond we slogged, and this one was even muckier and warmer than the first one. Finally, just as the sun was setting, we climbed on to dry land where Shitter’s Full was waiting for the exhausted DFLs to catch up. The FRBs went straight through Little Hamaca park to the On Home. Meanwhile Mu-Sick and Aunteater decided to climb the hill next to the Cubana Airlines plane, because Missed Her Bullseye had left a beer check there last time he had hared a trail through there. Finding no beer, they both slid/ran/climbed down the steep embankment only to have Just Rachel say, “Isn’t that a cooler at the top of the hill?” Mu-Sick recognized his pink and white cooler, and so the three of them climbed up the hill and found the cold beer. As Thar She Blows, Crack Of, and Shitter’s Full caught up and climbed up the hill, the hares walked back to the beer stop. As Mu-Sick cracked open his second beer there, we noticed a police car drive by on the other side of the fence, you know the fence meant to keep people from entering the end of the runway, where we were! So, here we sat up the hill at the coolest beer stop ever, atop the hill by the old Cuban airliner that sits at the end of the runway, watching planes take off and land overhead. After a nice long rest, when Mu-Sick popped his 3rd beer at the beer stop, we climbed down, went along the fence until we found a hole in the fence to arrive back at the start.
Circle soon commenced inside the gates to the park (the neighbors don’t like us circling in the parking lot, because we curse a lot and sing bawdy songs). Lo and behold, what to our wondering eyes should appear but the Sacred Vessel and the Long Lost Book of Names!!!!! Turns out that our former GM, Shiggy Shave Her, had been “guarding” them ever since March, when he found them abandoned after XSNRG’s birthday party. Glad he finally decided to show up!!! Both were immediately entrusted to the care of our current GM, who has promised to guard them more carefully.
The Sacred Vessel was put to good use on this muggy evening, as we awarded down-downs to the hares, the visitors, the virgin, to Just Rachel for wearing a skirt and carrying a purse on a shiggy trail (as she demonstrated how to hike up her miniskirt), FRB and DFL, Missed Her Bullseye for being awarded his lost ball found on trail by Mu-Sick (it was really a gold ball), and Shiggy for safely returning the sacred vessel and finally showing up for a trail. Then it was time for a naming!!! Just Chris has been to many hashes, and hared at least once, so it was finally time for a name. Shiggy went on a quick ice run, and came back with three bags upon which Just Chris was compelled to be seated (with one in his lap for good measure). After answering the usual questions, he was left to enjoy his cool perch while the pack retired to toss around ideas. The early favorite was Cum Solo, since he came to his first hash alone, and is a big Star Wars fan. Some effort was made to incorporate the word “Burple” which I guess from someone asking him how black he was and he replied “Burple” (somebody correct me if I’m wrong here). Another suggestion referred to the fact that he has five different jobs, thus “Five Incomes No Kids, or FINK.” Votes were cast, and in the end, Cum Solo won out. Newly named hasher Cum Solo was compelled to drink from the Sacred Vessel, and was finally released from his icy throne, only to proclaim “I have ice in my asshole!”
Circle was closed with Swing Low, and hashers dispersed to shower (YEAH!!) and most to the Green Parrot to meet up with DTF, who had to miss this shiggy trail for a bachelorette party (YUCK!).
Mu-Sick announced that he and Just Grant are haring the next hash next Saturday (23 Jun) and that everyone can expect to do something that no Key West Hash has ever done before!! The following Friday, the 29th of June will have Thar She Blows as the hare followed by the Full Moon Party at Higgs Beach.
Shiggy Shaver volunteered to hare the Saturday, 7 July Hash.
How cold is it?????
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