Hare: Timber Balls
Well, this was one for the record books! The Key West Hash Olympic record books, that is. Timber Balls was the hare and the single-handed Hash Olympic Committee for the evening, and he had a full slate of fun and games lined up for the pack. The fun started with the first event of the evening, the Cuban Bread Shot Put. The goal was to throw a piece of Cuban bread (or the whole loaf, which some tried) into a ring about 20 feet away. Whoever got the closest won the gold medal.
Well, this was one for the record books! The Key West Hash Olympic record books, that is. Timber Balls was the hare and the single-handed Hash Olympic Committee for the evening, and he had a full slate of fun and games lined up for the pack. The fun started with the first event of the evening, the Cuban Bread Shot Put. The goal was to throw a piece of Cuban bread (or the whole loaf, which some tried) into a ring about 20 feet away. Whoever got the closest won the gold medal.
Each hasher took his or her turn, and when all was said and done, Just Makenzie took the gold with the most accurate throw, followed by 4” Spike for the silver and Cindy Bear for the bronze.
Timber Balls had created some fabulous medals from different colored beer can tops, strung from Mardi Gras beads. He presented each medalist their award in true Olympic fashion as the pack hummed the Olympic anthem and 4” Spike played it on his phone..
Shitter’s Full then blessed the hare and sent him on his way for the first part of the trail. The hare took of with a shot asking for only a 5 minute head start. The pack soon followed, winding through The Meadows neighborhood north of Bayview Park. Mu-Sick, Manogram, and HNIC led the way, and the walking pack of Cindy Bear, Shitter’s Full, Just Makenzie, Thar She Blows, and 4” Spike brought up the rear. Trail passed over the Garrison Bight bridge, from where the pack was elated to see that the Smiley Face houseboat was back in its rightful place.
Shitter’s Full then blessed the hare and sent him on his way for the first part of the trail. The hare took of with a shot asking for only a 5 minute head start. The pack soon followed, winding through The Meadows neighborhood north of Bayview Park. Mu-Sick, Manogram, and HNIC led the way, and the walking pack of Cindy Bear, Shitter’s Full, Just Makenzie, Thar She Blows, and 4” Spike brought up the rear. Trail passed over the Garrison Bight bridge, from where the pack was elated to see that the Smiley Face houseboat was back in its rightful place.
4” Spike decided that we needed to go knock on the door and tell them how happy it made everyone to see it back. He and Thar headed down the dock to discover all the houseboat owners out on the dock enjoying sundowners. They sought out the owners of the Smiley Face house, who introduced themselves as Paul and Carrie. They were lovely people, and told us a little about the houseboat and how they ended up living there. They were genuinely touched that someone had actually stopped by to tell them they were glad to see the houseboat back.
The walkers then regrouped and followed trail back to Bayview Park, where they found the runners hydrating in preparation for another grueling round of Hash Olympics. The second event was the Frond Fling.
The walkers then regrouped and followed trail back to Bayview Park, where they found the runners hydrating in preparation for another grueling round of Hash Olympics. The second event was the Frond Fling.
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Timber Balls brought out a rather large palm frond; the object was simply to see who could throw it the farthest. Any method was acceptable – throwing it like a spear, chucking it underhand, or trying to throw it from the end like a Scottish caber. None of the techniques proved very effective, though, as the thing was damned heavy!! In the end, HNIC flung the farthest to take the gold, followed by Manogram and Just Makenzie
The hare was then sent on his way for part two of the trail, which meandered through the neighborhoods south of Bayview. There were many interesting homes along the way, including one on Seminary Street that takes up an entire city block and is hidden away behind a jungle of landscaping. There were also some interesting vehicles.
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The pack wandered along the back side of HOB school, then on in to Bayview Park for the final Olympic event, the Long Spew
This involved taking a big swig of your beverage of choice, taking a little run-up to a chalk line, and spewing as far as possible. Thar She Blows lived up to her name and took home the gold in this event, followed by Mu-Sick for the silver and Shitter’s Full for the bronze.
Timber Balls offered up a third section of trail, but since it was already getting dark the pack voted to end trail and circle up for religion. The hare drank for his shitty trail, and again for wearing his hat in circle. FRBs and DFLs were awarded down-downs, visitor Phony the Tiger had a tequila down down from his own bottle, and latecummers DTF, XSNRG, and Treasure Twat were called in to circle for their tardiness. Swing Low was swung, and the pack adjourned to Don’s Place for on-after.
Many thanks to Timber Balls for a very enjoyable evening. The trail was great, the games were fun and inventive, and the medals will be cherished forever! Thanks also to Cindy Bear for providing lots of these amazing photos!
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