Just Tyler and Bloody Treasure Chest made a horrible attempt at a chalk-talk before the Tyrant told them to piss off and start setting the trail so he could un-confuse the hounds and visitors. We began by sprinting South along Georgia street before encountering our first check. Here Ribbed for His Pleasure went off in search of trail and was not seen again until the On-Home site, while the rest of the pack followed the virgin Just Adrianna as she bounced down trail.
Happily, the hares devised to utilize a lot of Virgin checks, and a special event “Hero Check” that required 10 push-ups or 10 jumping jacks prior to passing on. Normally, the Tyrant would outlaw any such egregious demonstration of physical superiority… however it quickly became apparent that girls doing jumping jacks is a FANTASTIC hash idea. This may become a Key West staple.
The pack eventually wound our way down towards Casa Marina where we found a hidden stash of ice cold nectar to consume. Too much, in fact. Luckily, the visiting hasher from Austin had brought his Unmentionable’s purse on trail, so we filled it with the extras and continued on. Halfway to the next beer stop, as we gingerly passed a drunk KWPD officer patrolling the streets and driving around with his car door open… Nursing an STD showed up with his lover still handcuffed to his wrist (since they forgot to return to the Tyrant at the Tarpon Belly campout so he could release them).
Trail roamed onto Duval street, where the pack enthusiastically did push-ups with the drag queens in front of 801 Bourbon Street and then turning East towards the Big Ten Pub. On-Home was reached and religion was held in the parking lot of the pub, where we welcomed our virgin Adriana and her 6 month old breasts to our clan. We ended up only having one of the Austin Tourists make it through to the on-home site (THERE ARE NO SERIOUS HASHERS FROM TEXAS, apparently). And we made our server “Just Rand” do a down-down with us before we Swang Low and walked inside to consume vast quantities of wings and coronas.
On-On-On involved a short meandering to Tattoos and Scars before your loving Tyrant hired a cab and brought the entire Hash for a private viewing back at 801 Bourbon Street, where several “ladies” joined us and several hasher’s got lucky. The party eventually rolled across the street to Bourbon Street Pub where Fartacus was extremely uncomfortable while he got pawed by naked young men. Some Hashers were seen moseying into the back where a private, clothing optional, boys only pool party was being thrown… which inspired several of you harriers and harriettes to ride back uptown to Manhoe’s house where we ate Dion’s chicken while sitting in the pool and sipping Yuengling until 4am when the party finally wound down to a halt. Honor to the Key West Hash, and honor to boobs at religion! Respect for a well laid trail, and the rest of you idiots should take note how Bloody and Tyler did not lose the pack even once! Great Times, and see you all at the next event!!