We started at Krawl Off Duval, with $1 craft beers on Hash-Special, and drank for a few rounds while SLUT passed out buttons and penis-balloons, people donned their tiaras, the groom introduced his entire extended family to us, and the North Dakota emeritus-GM tried to hide himself among the masses.
At the appointed time, the Tyrant brought everyone together for introductions, and Lollypop presented the Hash with a commemorative plaque with a photo himself and his bride-to-be mid-coitus (go ahead, I dare you to click that link at work). A respectable gift for one visiting a new hash, Marilyn ManHoe was pleased with the gift and the proprietor of Krawl Off Duval promised to hang it in an honorable location at the establishment. They nailed it up above the shitter.
Then, Ribbed for HIS Pleasure was sent off with chalk and he brought the walking-pack to the new Barbecue establishment called Charlie Mac’s. We drank a few rounds, took pictures in compromising positions, Ribbed kissed and made out with the Groom’s step-mother…. And then the Tyrant grabbed the chalk, proclaimed his boredom, and took off at a walk (pizza in hand) and laid trail to 801 Bourbon.
When the Tyrant got to 801, wearing a tiara, he was immediately “eye-balled” by several of the customers (“eye-balled” is a new term meaning they raped him with their eyes and tried to grab his balls). The Tyrant tried to order a pitcher or two of beer for his thirsty hounds, but the barkeep refused, claiming they offered beer only in individual sales. So, ManHoe bought himself a yuengling and retired to the back bar in the men’s room (aka: 1 Saloon) where he could find satisfaction.
After the pack arrived at 801, and the Key West virgins were introduced to the wonders of the back-bar…. Ribbed grabbed the chalk again and took us to his favorite nearby drinking hole: Bourbon Street Pub. We drank, we sang songs, and we had a honorable good time until the Bride mentioned how much she really wanted to get naked. With this, Toto McScroto seized the opportunity to grab a stick of chalk and guide the pack to the Garden of Eden, where we met up with several lost hashers (SLUT and Snoop Dingleberry must have gotten lost on trail together). Ribbed immediately doffed his clothing (again), but his tiny penis was overshadowed by Pisonya (the Bride) performing a topless hula-hoop show as Just Hillary taught her how to move her hips.
When Pisonya got cold and put her shirt back on, and we had all had enough of drinking beer with Ribbed’s cock hanging about…. Trail was laid to Sloppy’s and while the pack played, Pleasure Me Orally and the Gilded GILF were sent on a black-ops style mission to procure beer and ice for a surprise Religion to honor our visitors from the frozen north.
The Tyrant then laid trail to the parking lot behind Sloppy’s on Ann Street where a long circle was held so we could mock and thank our visitors, introduce their parents to Hashing, and most importantly… name our two skinniest/tallest harriettes.
Due to fantastic stories you will never know if you chose not to attend, we welcomed Queef Gagger and Doggy Pole Pleaser to our ranks of debaucherous named Hashers.
The beer flowed only slightly longer, until Lollypop and Pisonya were brought in to drink a final down-down for us as a wedding present…. But the groom had worn cranium-gear in circle. So, he was forced to consume the last beer… which he almost finished before he launched his entire evening’s libations onto the pavement as the Tyrant began swinging Swing Low.
All hashes should end with the honored guest vomiting. It was a beautiful climax to the evening.
The group then reconvened at Sloppy’s, and much rejoicing continued through the evening. A terrific way to spend a Thirsty Thursday.